Like nothing changed

Poem of the month

I speak as though nothing happened

As though no doctore

Ever rearranged my future

With a handful of words.

As though my body

Still belongs to the dreams

I built for it.

As though nothing shifted

Nothing broken.

Nothing became uncertain.

I love

I smile

I make planes

I talk about tomorrow

Like tomorrow still looks the same.

But beneath every conversation

Is a quiet ache

The eyes

I may never see looking back at me

The hair

I may never brush behind tiny ears

The little hand

I may never reach for.

The reason

I may never find my self sitting

Through a dance recital

Counting down the minutes

While secretly wishing

Time would slow down.

I wish this grief on no one

Not even those who wounded me the most.

Because no one should carry

This kind of silence

The frustration

The questions that have no answers.

Why me?

Am I grieving too soon?

Maybe there is still hope

Maybe the story Isn’t finished.

But Hope doesn’t erase

What I was told.

It does not make

The fear disappear.

It does not quiet

The possibility

That some dreams

May only remain dreams.

So I keep speaking

Like nothing changed.

While everything did.

The tears come and go

The weeks keep passing

The world keeps moving.

And somehow so do I

By the grace of God

I keep going

Carrying both

Hope and heartbreak

At the same time.